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9 Reasons Why Bacon SUCKS

Profile photo of Sara-W

Posted February 25, 2013 by Sara Wirth

It seems like a person can’t go anywhere these days without getting assaulted with billboards, commercials, and suuuper-clever people declaring, “Mmm, bacon tastes good.” Every time I turn on the TV or drive down the street, it’s the same deal: bacon burgers, bacon pancakes, bacon doughnuts, and let’s not forget the supremely disgusting bacon milkshake (really, guys?).

Thanks in no small part to our friend Ron Swanson, people seem to be losing their shiz over bacon and forgetting one very important detail: YOU HAVE TO KILL SOME SUPER-INTELLIGENT AND SENSITIVE BEINGS IN ORDER TO GET IT.

People often accuse vegans of being outspoken, but let’s get real—meat-eaters are the ones who won’t STFU about bacon, which is why we’ve compiled our top 9 reasons why bacon SUCKS:

1) Pigs are ranked the fourth–most intelligent animal! (Just behind chimpanzees, dolphins, and elephants)

2) There is NO difference between the dog you love and a pig! Not only have pigs been shown to be smarter than dogs, they also act like them! Pigs enjoy getting stomach rubs, sunbathing, and snuggling just like our canine friends, so if you wouldn’t eat your dog, why would you eat a pig?

3) It’s cruel. Pigs on factory farms have their testicles cut out and the ends of their teeth broken off without any pain relief and are often kept in crates so small that they can’t even turn around comfortably—if at all. :(

pigs in crates© Farm Sanctuary

4) It’s unhealthy! Bacon can be composed of more than 90 percent fat and is full of cancer-causing nitrates when it’s cooked. It’s also packed with cholesterol and saturated fat—both of which are leading causes of heart disease, aka the number one killer in this country.

This person is a model; the image is being used for illustrative purposes only.

5) It’s gross. Everyone has seen what happens to bacon fat when it cools—IT’S SOLID. Imagine what that’s doing inside your intestines. It ain’t pretty!

6) Pigs can play video games! Um, not even I can play video games.

7) It’s bad for the environment. A pig farm with 5,000 animals produces as much fecal waste as a city of 50,000 people. That’s a lot of poop to deal with, so factory farms create giant basins full of that toxic waste, which often leaks into rivers and contaminates groundwater. To get around water pollution limits, factory farms will frequently spray the tons of urine and feces that are stored in these lagoons into the air. This manure-filled mist is carried away by the wind and inhaled by the people who live nearby.

FREE 'Too Much Poop' Fliers8) You are eating rotting flesh. Hate to break it to you, but bacon is made up of the body parts of a dead animal.

9) His life is worth more than your 20-minute breakfast.

But there’s good news, bacon addicts: There are tons of yummy animal-friendly substitutes out there! Vegan bacon will give you the same smoky and salty taste you crave without supporting cruelty. Win-win! Try Bac~Os and Lightlife bacon strips as well as adding liquid smoke and maple syrup to tempeh. :)

So the next time someone shoves bacon into your face, remember this: PIGS ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD!

Vent your bacon frustration in the comments below.

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  • Profile photo of learningvegan

    410 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    I don’t understand what all the hype is about any way. bacon is BLECH!! But stupidly/sadly my brother doesn’t believe ANYTHING from the web. So sadly he is a big bacon eater and partially i think his problem is because he doesn’t want to face the facts. ) :

  • 674 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    I think that is among the so much vital info for me. And i am happy reading your article. But want to remark on few basic issues, The site style is wonderful, the articles is truly nice : D. Just right task, cheers

  • Profile photo of jhlfbnj

    831 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    1

    my boyfriend told me that he doesn’t really like meat (yay!) but that he still loves bacon. maybe this article will make him think twice about bacon.

  • Profile photo of Bookbee

    831 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    1

    Ugghhhh… Bacon sounds especially disgusting after reading this. I don’t understand why people would support such unhealthy and inhumane food.

  • Profile photo of elizabethwestphal

    832 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    I also heard that since pigs are so similar to humans (their skin can even be used for some weeks as a replacement for human skin before it is rejected by the body), pig meat even TASTES like HUMAN meat!

  • Profile photo of kellinoel88

    853 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    I have a “friend” that is OBSESSED with bacon. She even has a bacon air freshener in her car. Gross.

  • 858 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    1

    I told my freind what happens to pigs and chickens when they are factory farmed and she said and i quote, “i dont care where it comes from! IT’S GOOD!” so then she went off telling me how bacon was supper delicious and she would die without it! The some guys heard her say im a vegitarian and started making fun of me, then she just laughed at me!

  • Profile photo of CheyenneStarr

    859 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    1

    I almost cried D;

  • Profile photo of alexblue

    860 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    2

    “Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs and Wear Cows”
    http://www.carnism.com/index.php/component/rsevents/event/32-why-we-love-dogs-eat-pigs-and-wear-cows
    2 minute vid that says it all. :)

  • Profile photo of kaylea.blamer

    860 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    2

    I have only tried the morning star but id rather eat that over a pig anyday

  • Profile photo of hakred

    860 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    1

    #10 is beautiful. :)

  • Profile photo of Dagmar

    861 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

    2

    Tempeh bacon is the best.

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