Getting Things Shoved Down Your Throat is No Fun

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Posted January 13, 2006 by Rachelle Owen

I have a terrible cold right now. Everyone else in the office has been wearing SARS masks when they talk to me so they don’t get infected by my cough of death. What’s worse is that I have a hole in my stomach, so I have to go to the hospital today to get a tiny camera at the end of a tube shoved down my throat. Not to be the most cliche person ever, but I can’t help but think, “This is nothing compared to what animals go through.”
The procedure I am going to undergo is pretty uncomfortable, but when I look at photos and video footage of ducks and geese used for foie gras, I realize that a few hours spent on a hospital bed is so trivial in the grand scheme of things. The term “foie gras” literally means “fatty liver.” It is the bloated liver of male ducks and geese who are force-fed enormous quantities of food until their livers expand well beyond their normal size. Workers ram pipes down the birds’ throats two or three times a day and pump as much as two pounds of grain and fat into the animals’ stomachs while the birds desperately struggle to get away. The pipes puncture many birds’ throats, sometimes causing them to bleed to death or suffer painful wounds. On some farms, a single worker may be expected to force-feed 500 birds three times each day. Because of this rush, animals are often treated roughly and left injured and suffering.
Many birds have difficulty standing because of their engorged livers, and they may tear out their own feathers and cannibalize each other because of stress. Undercover footage taken at Sonoma Foie Gras shows rats eating the flesh of live ducks who are too bloated and crippled to defend themselves.
This torture lasts 12 to 21 days and causes the birds’ livers to bloat until they are up to 12 times their normal size. Because of the injuries and disease caused by force-feeding, the death rates on foie gras farms are between 10 and 25 times higher than the mortality rates on other duck and geese farms, and carcasses of animals from these farms show wing fractures and severe tissue damage to the throat muscles. For more information and to see what you can do to help, check out
The “R080T5 N0T R0D305” t-shirt design was so popular that I made it into an avatar for all your interweb functions like livejournal or MSN. I also made two new ones that are the best thing since Chuck Norris jokes.

Chuck Norris heard that KFC was cutting off baby chickens’ beaks, so he flew to Louisville and roundhouse kicked everyone at their corporate office in the face. The next day, every image of Colonel Sanders in existence was replaced with a promotional poster for the Walker: Texas Ranger DVD boxset, and KFC changed their menu to sell nothing but Total Gyms. When word got out that the company was keeping the Total Gyms in tiny cardboard boxes, Chuck Norris rubbed his temples and every last KFC collapsed to rubble.
Speaking of which, did you hear about the KFC in Indiana that was just closed down due to health code violations? According to the Health Department inspector’s report, “Your establishment is considered by our office to be a potential vector of food borne illness, due to critical, non-critical violations and repeat complaints, including the most recent complaint on Friday, Dec. 30, 2005, regarding poor personal hygiene by food employee (failure to wash hands before handling ready-to-eat food and the non-use of gloves or other utensils to handle ready-to-eat foods”. Now I don’t know about you, but vector of food borne illness sounds pretty scary to me.
MTV News caught word of the Death Cab contest on peta2. If you haven’t entered, do so by January 23. Also, take a look at our new interview with The Click Five and a radio PSA with Bloodlined Calligraphy.
Have a good weekend!!!!!111one

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  • 3603 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]


    I read that article about Pamela Anderson too. It’s great! Are there any codes for the sayings you have? Thank you!

  • 3603 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]


    yeah when ilogged on to local net yesterday it had pamela anderson vs conel sanders on the front.. i was like WOO! but at the very bottom some moron from KFC said soemthing like ‘its just another tactic from PETA to try to get a vegan society’ ((not exact words.. i dont’ remeber it)) but yeah, shes a biotch! lol hey i read in the mag animal times iams is getting better.. any more updates?

  • 3604 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]


    Pamela Anderson is also trying to bust Colonel Sander’s bust. Check it out:

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