Kick the Bucket in a PETA Coffin!

Avatar of Ryan-H

Posted December 3, 2008 by Ryan Huling

Well, the holiday season is upon us once again, and the crowds are rushing to get a head-start on this year’s Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus shopping. I’ve always been a bit of a last-minute gift-buyer myself, but if there’s ever a purchase not to procrastinate on, this is it…

Introducing, PETA coffins! That’s right—why let your Earthly death keep you from earning Street Team points well into the afterlife? Just don’t forget to update your profile with your new “shipping address”.

420-old-pine-box.jpg

Each hand-painted coffin comes with a snazzy parting line to help remind your dearly beloved that not even death will keep you from your “grassroots” activism for animals. Some of the available slogans include:

  • “Told you I wouldn’t be caught dead in fur!”
  • “Lifetime PETA Member”
  • “Dead meat should be buried — not eaten”

Yes, regardless of whether you’re headed to the pearly gates or into the fiery depths below, this will definitely spark conversations the whole way. Make sure to pack extra Vegetarian Starter Kits for the trip!


—Ryan!
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  • 1209 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    Look up Tibetan ‘sky burial’ or ‘water burial’. I think that’s the best and most environmentally sound way to go but I’m not quite sure my family would agree. I always thought being buried in my birthday suite would be good but I worry if my remains would get into any underground aquifer…

  • 1613 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    This is a great idea, but I don’t think you will sell many – vegetarians live too long :o p Seriously though, I am going to show my next-of-kin for future reference!

  • 1617 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    “Even a “green burial” where a body is put into the earth in a canvas /cloth sack with no coffin is unappealing to me. It STILL takes up natural resources.”
    You don’t understand very much about carbon cycles and soil and basic ecology, do you?
    Oh, how I wish the majority of environmentalists actually understood what they were talking about. It would make the cause look so much better to those who are not yet in the camp.

  • 1624 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    I’d rather give back to the earth…..just throw me in a hole and let nature do its job!!!

  • 1626 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    Green burials are not such a bad idea. Your body takes up space but decomposes rather quickly. Your body offers essential nutrients to rejuvenate the soil. And we do need that. It’s not like it takes years, as it does when the body is in a coffin made of treated wood and metal. Green burial is the most like what occurs in the wild. But I personally like viking funerals :-)

  • Jim

    1626 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    I’ve asked to be buried the old-fashioned way. No box, no preservatives, hand-dug. My elements will recycle the fastest that way.

  • 1627 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    If you truly want to help my planet, you should offer yourselves as food, that way you will be useful at last if not before
    RIP PETA

  • 1627 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    wow, now I know exactly what my coffin’s gonna look like- nice :)
    and I was thinking I’d just have to have boring old black like everyone else XD

  • 1627 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    The fact that you mention Festivus makes me happy.
    And the fact that there are PETA coffins makes me laugh. But it’s pretty nifty. However, I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, haha. :)

  • 1628 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    Sweet!!

  • 1628 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    Yea, I’d like to be cremated, too. They should make an urn.

  • 1628 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    Yeah it’s not that green, but it’s better than taking up land just so your corpse can rot. Besides, I like the idea of being turned into a habitat for fishes or other wild life.
    Even a “green burial” where a body is put into the earth in a canvas /cloth sack with no coffin is unappealing to me. It STILL takes up natural resources.
    So it’s really a personal choice.

  • 1629 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    being cremated is actually very bad for the environment

  • 1629 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    that is so hilariously morbid…
    i love it. i’d totally get one!!

  • 1629 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    I like the coffins, but I can’t say I’m going to buy one. It’s a waste of materials and also as a true environmentalist I can’t justify taking up valuable space just for my body to decompose in. I’d rather be cremated and have my ashes turned into a habitat for fish in the ocean, or just have them scattered. That’d be a truly green (and animal-friendly) way to go.

  • 1629 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    You forgot to mention Yule (Winter Solstice) shopping! ;o)
    Great idea for coffins but why not make them from cardboard? It biodegrades quicker and it would be cheaper to make!

  • 1629 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    Love it. Just love it.

  • 1629 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    How do I get one?

  • 1629 days ago

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]

    0

    very nice!

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