Love and Other Hugs
Ah, l’amour … that sweet, agonizing bliss that is unrequited love. Shakespeare called it “Swift as a shadow, short as any dream.” I call it that tiny, violent gremlin that is using my small intestine as a skip rope.
But do not despair! “Hug a Vegetarian” Day is finally here, and it’s the perfect excuse to snuggle up to that someone special (pssst, Ryan Gosling, I’m free today!).
“But, Anna!” you say, tears of joy streaming down your face. “However does one do such a thing?” Oh, my young and bright-eyed Street Teamers—it’s too simple, really:
- Step one: Invite your crush to the “Hug a Vegetarian” Day 2011 Facebook event. Knowing what’s going on helps to negate the creepy factor when you slowly wrap your arms around them without saying a word.
- Step two: Add a super-casual, I-swear-I’m-not-a-stalker-esque message. Continue not to be creepy.
- Step three: Accidentally-on-purpose have them overhear you talking about HAVD with your friend (and wingman). Study the art of the hair flip and catch their eye with a flirty smile. Again, do not be creepy.
- Be confident! You get one shot! You can do this.
And just like taking off a bandage, it’s all over. Give yourself a huge pat on the back, and be sure to invite me to the wedding. Otherwise, start laying the groundwork for next year’s HAVD (just … you know … don’t be creepy). As Shakespeare says, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” Or in my own words, “Outta the way, suckas!”
Happy “Hug a Vegetarian” Day!