• My heart is broken, my kid is dead

    Avatar of teatowls

    7 months ago

    This time last week I had 2 kids, on October 10th I had two but on Thursday I had one. His name was Mischief and he was the most handsome cat you’ve ever seen, a black and white domestic short-hair with a pure black nose and little black love heart on his side when he lay down. He’d let you put him across your shoulders like a scarf and he didn’t care, you could carry him all day and he’d just purr away. He loved to sit with his paws tucked underneath him and his tail wrapped around his body, he prefered to sit on your clothes and was always asking for more food… he rarely meowed and looked at you like you were stupid if you spoke to him, he hated having his paws and tail touched but he loved people. He was a cat you could look at and be reminded of those actor cats for pet food adverts, he just looked like a house cat and prefered indoors to outdoors- except in the summer of course. He even disliked real meat! What cat doesn’t like the food he evolved to eat? He chose biscuits over it always. He never stopped purring when there were people around and the lengths he went to for attention so you’d put even more food down was just brilliant… the amount of time he’d rip the carpet up then bolt downstairs so you’d follow him couldn’t be counted on both hands.

    I wasn’t home when he died either. I was at university and didn’t come home last weekend, I came home on friday afternoon nd he died on thursday night. How did he die? Mischief was always the tubby one, he loved to eat and couldn’t climb to save his life ( the amount of times I had to get him out of a tree or off the roof…) but somehow he always caught mice…. never to eat though, he hated cooked and raw meat. For the past few weeks we noticed he was getting skinnier, much skinnier for him even though he was still eating but as the other kid, Smello, was getting bigger we just figured Smello was more dominant now and that was it but it looks like he was really very sick. On the night he died he went up to my brothers room (my old room) meowing at the top of his voice for him and my brother let him in for a minute then carried him down stairs. From the time it took to get to the bottom of the stairs he was dead, just like that. My mum even tried CPR but there was just nothing. He died in my brothers arms.
    When I found out on friday the 12th October… to say I didn’t believe them is an understatement. Even with his frozen body in front of me I was still denying it in my head, it couldn’t be him…. he wasn’t even 5 years old for crying out loud! He was just a little baby…. I couldn’t look at him, I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t kiss him goodbye because if I did… I’d be admitting it was him and that he was gone and the only thing I wanted to do was to go back to uni and that’s all I still want to do. I just can’t be in this house, I can’t look at a chair without thinking of him and his odd little sitting ways or a radiator and his sprawled out across the flood to be close to the heat. The cat basket he used all the time…. when Tilly the terrier hasn’t claimed it of course and the sight on an empty cat bowl next to a full one is too much. I can’t look at the sofa he’d sit on or the staircase where he’d sleep on everyone’s dirty laundry or even the back door where he’d be sat scowling at from outside demanding we let him back in the warmth.

    We didn’t bury him with his collar, it’s in the middle room and I’m seriously thinking of bringing it back to uni with me and just wearing it around my He hated collars and pulled them off every time we put one on so there was no way he’d be buried with one. His brother ,Smello, and I are considerably closer than I ever was with him and Smello has been inside almost all weekend now… he refused to look at the body and has sat by me day and night only parting ways to intake and expel essentials and it’s like he’s taken up some of Mischiefs habits. Mischief cleaned himself constantly, Smello had a several hour long sessions yesterday and it’s not something he would normally do. Smello actually licked my arm last night and rubbed his head on my feet…. Mischief did that, Smello never did. They’ve always been together, they were from the same litter and have never really been separated before and I’m worried about Smello… even more so now that I’ll be gone again soon and he really will be on his own

    I’m sorry for the long post guys but I had to do it, to try and convince my self one of my little baby’s is gone even though I still hear his constant purring and see his curled up form out the corner of my eye in all his favourite spots. I can’t even begin to describe the pain I’m in, my chest is aching and I can’t sleep and haven’t eaten well today but everyone else seems to be over it and act as though nothings wrong like no one is dead and I’m not sure I can do that, I don’t want to “move on”. I want my baby back. And I’m scared I’m going to lose Smello, I don’t think I could take losing them both. I’ll die if he goes too.

    I love you kid <3 Nothing will ever change that

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  • Avatar of Bashyta-Ali

    6 months ago

    i’ve been through the same situation , i’m sorry for your loss . i’d totally understand how you felt .

  • Avatar of CrazyVeganChick

    6 months ago

    I’m so sorry for your loss :( *hugs* losing a friend is never easy, take as much time as you need to heal.

  • Avatar of brittanyhale

    6 months ago

    sorry for your loss

  • Avatar of LittleLotte

    7 months ago

    *hugs* Do what ever you need to do to help yourself heal. Losing an animal companion is never easy but remember the good times.

  • Avatar of britily

    7 months ago

    awe, i’m really sorry to hear about his. Mischief sounds like he was a wonderful cat! A beauty too! it’s so sad he’s gone. Be thankful that you were able to know him though. You were blessed with an angel kitty it sounds like!

    My kitty died a little over a year ago. I had him for over ten years and he was a completely black cat. We named him Velvet. I was devastated he was gone, but it always gives me comfort when i think that he went to Heaven. I never choose to believe that animals don’t. I think there’s a special place for every one. I hope that comforts you slightly too.

  • Avatar of EmilyRiver

    7 months ago

    I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost many cats to death and some very beloved dogs to other homes so I know how you feel. Losing animal friends is just so hard. I hope you feel better soon. :( R.I.P Mischief.

  • Avatar of trae93

    7 months ago

    I’m sorry for your loss. I know what it feels like to lose a beloved animal and I’m sorry that this other commenter is making your time more difficult. I wish you strength in this time.

  • Avatar of SamiSmiles

    7 months ago

    aw, my cat doug is getting extreamly thin. hes realy old too. i know how it felt to lose a cat. after some hugs and tears youll be almosst back to new :) good luck

  • Avatar of teatowls

    7 months ago

    Unless you’ve done courses in animal behaviour or veterinary I do not believe you are qualified to comment of his state of mind or what killed him, also as you have never seen his behaviour first hand you are unable to make and kind of correct judgement on him. He would hunt but he would not eat raw meat including his kills, it was just something he never did.
    I advocate feeding all animals raw diets but its not something I force on them, if they want it they’ll eat it and if they don’t then they won’t.

  • Avatar of teatowls

    7 months ago

    SkiVegChick: Thank you, I think right now I’m just after confirmation that what I’m feeling is normal since no one else is acting upset now… I’m no Christian either in fact I’m somewhere between atheism and theistic Satanism and don’t believe in life after death at all beside knowing that he’ll help the ecosystem continue when he decomposes.

    Biotech: As far as I am concerned he was my offspring, I was the one who got them for my birthday and I was in a dark place before they came into my life, they made it light again and were the only reason I stopped overdosing on medication and stabbing my arms with a compass – they gave me the strength to throw it away. He was NOT vegan, he loved Go Cat biscuits and Whiskers as well and I’m pleased to say he turned his nose up to Iams. He was better toward real meat in the past few months but that was just picking it up, until then he’d just look at it in disgust but fish he wasn’t bad with, he was fussy but he’d eat bits sometimes.

  • Avatar of SkiVegChick

    7 months ago

    awwww. I cried just reading that!!! I know exactly how you feel, I remember when my cat max died, i was so sad i could stop crying, it was terrible! you just need to remember he loved you more then anything, and God mapped out a life plan for him, and it was just his time to go. Im sure you gave him the best five years anyone possibly could! My heart goes out to you <3

  • Avatar of teatowls

    7 months ago

    This time last week I had 2 kids, on October 10th I had two but on Thursday I had one. His name was Mischief and he was the most handsome cat you’ve ever seen, a black and white domestic short-hair with a pure black nose and little black love heart on his side when he lay down. He’d let you put him across your shoulders like a scarf and he didn’t care, you could carry him all day and he’d just purr away. He loved to sit with his paws tucked underneath him and his tail wrapped around his body, he prefered to sit on your clothes and was always asking for more food… he rarely meowed and looked at you like you were stupid if you spoke to him, he hated having his paws and tail touched but he loved people. He was a cat you could look at and be reminded of those actor cats for pet food adverts, he just looked like a house cat and prefered indoors to outdoors- except in the summer of course. He even disliked real meat! What cat doesn’t like the food he evolved to eat? He chose biscuits over it always. He never stopped purring when there were people around and the lengths he went to for attention so you’d put even more food down was just brilliant… the amount of time he’d rip the carpet up then bolt downstairs so you’d follow him couldn’t be counted on both hands.

    I wasn’t home when he died either. I was at university and didn’t come home last weekend, I came home on friday afternoon nd he died on thursday night. How did he die? Mischief was always the tubby one, he loved to eat and couldn’t climb to save his life ( the amount of times I had to get him out of a tree or off the roof…) but somehow he always caught mice…. never to eat though, he hated cooked and raw meat. For the past few weeks we noticed he was getting skinnier, much skinnier for him even though he was still eating but as the other kid, Smello, was getting bigger we just figured Smello was more dominant now and that was it but it looks like he was really very sick. On the night he died he went up to my brothers room (my old room) meowing at the top of his voice for him and my brother let him in for a minute then carried him down stairs. From the time it took to get to the bottom of the stairs he was dead, just like that. My mum even tried CPR but there was just nothing. He died in my brothers arms.
    When I found out on friday the 12th October… to say I didn’t believe them is an understatement. Even with his frozen body in front of me I was still denying it in my head, it couldn’t be him…. he wasn’t even 5 years old for crying out loud! He was just a little baby…. I couldn’t look at him, I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t kiss him goodbye because if I did… I’d be admitting it was him and that he was gone and the only thing I wanted to do was to go back to uni and that’s all I still want to do. I just can’t be in this house, I can’t look at a chair without thinking of him and his odd little sitting ways or a radiator and his sprawled out across the flood to be close to the heat. The cat basket he used all the time…. when Tilly the terrier hasn’t claimed it of course and the sight on an empty cat bowl next to a full one is too much. I can’t look at the sofa he’d sit on or the staircase where he’d sleep on everyone’s dirty laundry or even the back door where he’d be sat scowling at from outside demanding we let him back in the warmth.

    We didn’t bury him with his collar, it’s in the middle room and I’m seriously thinking of bringing it back to uni with me and just wearing it around my He hated collars and pulled them off every time we put one on so there was no way he’d be buried with one. His brother ,Smello, and I are considerably closer than I ever was with him and Smello has been inside almost all weekend now… he refused to look at the body and has sat by me day and night only parting ways to intake and expel essentials and it’s like he’s taken up some of Mischiefs habits. Mischief cleaned himself constantly, Smello had a several hour long sessions yesterday and it’s not something he would normally do. Smello actually licked my arm last night and rubbed his head on my feet…. Mischief did that, Smello never did. They’ve always been together, they were from the same litter and have never really been separated before and I’m worried about Smello… even more so now that I’ll be gone again soon and he really will be on his own

    I’m sorry for the long post guys but I had to do it, to try and convince my self one of my little baby’s is gone even though I still hear his constant purring and see his curled up form out the corner of my eye in all his favourite spots. I can’t even begin to describe the pain I’m in, my chest is aching and I can’t sleep and haven’t eaten well today but everyone else seems to be over it and act as though nothings wrong like no one is dead and I’m not sure I can do that, I don’t want to “move on”. I want my baby back. And I’m scared I’m going to lose Smello, I don’t think I could take losing them both. I’ll die if he goes too.

    I love you kid <3 Nothing will ever change that

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