Why Going Back to School Sucks
1. Waking Up Early
I’m sorry, but I can’t be asked to be proactive until I’ve stuffed my face with stacks of vegan pancakes and coffee—and even after that, it’s still torture.
Make mornings less sucky with a NOMilicious breakfast.
2. Girls Wearing UGGs
I’m sorry to interrupt your sweat-pant-wacked-up-ponytail-UGGs action, but it’s actually hurting my eyes. Not to mention that UGGs are often made from the skin of merino sheep, who are often castrated, have part of their tails cut off, and have huge chunks of skin and flesh cut from their backsides—all usually without any painkillers.
Help UGG-wearers see the truth with our printable leaflets!
Uniforms SUCK. If you’re one of the lucky ones who get to wear whatever they want to school, be sure that what you wear reflects just how freaking awesome you are. Sport a peta2 shirt to turn heads and save animals!
Better yet: Sign up for the Street Team to get FREE shirts.
4. Responding to the Protein Question for the 59,785,354th Time
You know how it goes: You’re sitting at the lunch table with your best amigos, and you’re not even 0.2 seconds into eating your yummy vegan grilled cheese sandwich when someone asks, “So, where do you get your protein?”
Seriously, dude? Although you already know that there’s protein in every plant-based food, some people still might not have a clue. That’s where you come in! Show them our vegan infographic, and maybe even cook ’em some vegan grub to prove just how easy and delicious being vegan is.
5. Gym Class
Let’s get something clear: Just because you hate gym class doesn’t mean you hate working out or doing sports. It just means that you hate smelling like sweaty chimichangas for the rest of the school day. It also doesn’t help that your gym teacher keeps mentioning that vegans can’t be strong and fit. Next time that happens, be sure to mention how many badass athletes—including Jake Shields, Mac Danzig, and Patrik Baboumian—are vegan!
6. Not Having Enough Space in Your Locker for Decorations
TOO MANY PETA2 STICKERS, TOO LITTLE SPACE! Get some for free!
7. Cafeteria Food
Time to stop raiding the vending machine for Oreos and Fritos (they’re vegan!) at lunchtime. You study hard (eh, kind of) and deserve a yummy vegan option in the cafeteria. That’s where your friends at peta2 come in. E-mail us at email@example.com, and we’ll help you get a veggie burger at your school in no time. Psst…Sometimes all you need to do is ask for one!
I’m sorry, but doesn’t anyone else see a problem with asking students to chop up dead animals at school? No? OK, I guess we’re living in Crazy Town. The good news? It’s never been easier to stop cruelty to animals and fight dissection at your school, and we’ll help you every step of the way. Click the image below to get started:
What did we learn in this post? That school SUCKS. But hey, it’s not all bad. Before you convince yourself that you’re doomed for the entire school year, image how your first day back will go …
You’ll fight the urge to stay in bed.
Picking out the perfect back-to-school outfit will take longer than you expected, making you a tad late for school. You’ll sprint through the halls doing your best to avoid the principal, teachers, and that classmate who will tell on you.
Everything will suck until you’re finally reunited with your besties. They’ll join your animal rights group, and you’ll squeal a little in joy.
Around fourth period, you’ll accept the reality that you’ll be spending the year here and decide to make the best of it by kicking butt for animals!
Yeah, you’ll change the world this year. See, it isn’t all bad, right?