Going vegan is awful. Here are eight reasons why you should NEVER try it:
1. You’ll have to save more than 100 animals every year.
Um … why would anyone want to save animals? Look at her obnoxiously adorable nose and sickeningly sweet smile. Gross.
Oh, ew, this one wants a kiss:
He thinks he’s SO cute resting by the fire. How arrogant!
2. You’ll be FORCED to discover new foods.
If you go vegan, you may have to TRY new things! Um, no thanks.
I like eating the same thing every day. Why change?
Ew. Look at this nasty vegan mac and cheese pizza. Clearly, vegans don’t eat anything good.
3. Going vegan could destroy your acne.
Studies have shown that eating meat and dairy foods can contribute to acne. But I love my acne! Those little splotches are my friends. This girl clearly wishes she had pimples:
What if my family doesn’t recognize me with clear skin? This could be dangerous.
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She seriously looks miserable without pimples.
4. You’ll help the planet, even if you don’t want to.
Studies show that a vegan diet has a lower environmental impact than diets that contain animal-derived foods. So basically, if you go vegan, you’ll HAVE to help the planet. This ugly rock doesn’t deserve my help:
Why would anyone want to preserve this?
Going outside is the WORST.
5. You may end up looking like Liam Hemsworth, Kat Von D, or RZA.
I’d rather look like a rusty doorknob than this unsexy dweeb:
I almost feel bad for her. Who would want to look like that?
6. You’ll be forced to wear vegan clothes.
Going vegan means you can’t wear your boots that are made from a dead cow’s skin. These hideous vegan shoes are clearly much worse:
Vegans definitely are NOT fashionable.
Who would want to dress like HIM?
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7. You’ll never enjoy a dead cow burger again.
Oh, no. How can I survive eating nasty VEGAN burgers like THIS?
How are vegans not dying of starvation???
Clearly, vegans only eat salads.
8. Chances are that you’ll live longer than you planned.
Studies have shown that vegans often live longer than meat-eaters. Ugh. Life is so boring, why would anyone want to live LONGER?
Look at this poor guy, wasting away when he could be eating bacon!
So you see, going vegan really is the WORST.
We’re totally kidding, of course! Going vegan is the BEST thing that you can do for animals, your body, and the planet. This FREE guide to going vegan can help get you started: