As you dog lovers out there already know, dogs are pretty much a bunch of furry little geniuses. Did you know that dogs can often pick up more than 200 spoken words all on their own, without being taught? It’s true! But every now and then, there are moments when we all wish doggies spoke our language, for realz. Here are 10 things we keep trying to tell our dogs:
1. This bath is full of soapy water—NOT flesh-dissolving acid, k? CHILL PILL.
2. That’s just the mail carrier. He’s not going to hurt you. Remember him from yesterday and the day before and the hundreds of days before that? Same ol’ dude, different day.
3. I know you want in on this, but this vegan feast is alllllll mine.
4. I love you, but you are NOT gettin’ any chocolate! (If it weren’t a risk to your health, I’d have caved by now, OK?!)
5. Don’t you get that the vacuum is MY enemy, not yours? >.<
6. I loooove me some cuddles! But is there any chance we could try this with your butt facing, like, not my face? Maybe?
7. Why, yes, I do see the puppy in the other car! Yep, there she is. Mmm-hmm, still see her. OK, seriously, I GET IT.
8. I know you think that every time I close the door to the bathroom, a portal to another dimension opens up and I am at risk of disappearing forever. That’d be cool, but I promise it’s not gonna happen.
9. Crazy—I was just thinking about how these shoes would look better chewed!
10. I know you think walking around the block is exciting! So exciting, in fact, that it’s hard to believe that this is the same block we walk around ALL THE TIME.
Sadly, not all dogs are lucky enough to have an awesome human companion who will always try to listen to what they have to say. Every day, dogs are abused, neglected, left trapped in hot cars, and chained up and forgotten outside 24/7 without adequate shelter.