Vegan meats have gotten so delicious that there is officially NO EXCUSE for anyone to keep eating dead animals. Whether you’re already vegan or just checkin’ out the scene, think of this as your vegan meat bucket list* and try this stuff ASAP … BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
*Vegans live, on average, six to 10 years longer than meat-eaters, so go vegan and give yourself a little extra time to get this (and other things) done. 😉
1. MorningStar Farms Hickory BBQ Riblets
For anyone who has ever needed a juicy, BBQ-sauce-drenched riblet sandwich without the cruelty.
Best for: summertime or any time you need a seriously satisfying but quick BBQ fix. Just don’t burn the sh*t out of yourself while opening the bag after heating it up, like I usually do.
2. Beyond Meat Chicken-Free Strips
Need something that can convert even your most carnivorous friends to vegan eating? Yeah, it’s this. Beyond Meat products are so meat-y that you *might* have to quadruple-check the ingredients before you’re certain that you’re not eating animal flesh.
Best for: convincing your friends that vegan meat is f*cking fantastic, making life in general worth living.
3. Soy Chorizo (Any Brand!)
Vegan heaven apparently comes in a weird plastic tube! Rumor has it that some lucky folks have even found this miracle product in 99 CENTS ONLY STORES. WHAT?
Best for: literally every Mexican dish you ever make. Also, try tossing some in your tofu scramble or a pot of vegan chili!
4. Amy’s All American Burger
Ah, the veggie burger: the darling of all vegan meats. Amy’s vegan All American Burger is pretty much my all-time favorite, and I would probably like to eat it every single day of my life.
Best for: lunch or dinner. And if it’s up to me, breakfast, too.
5. Boca Chik’n Meatless Patties
The perfect lil’ fast-foodish breaded “chicken” patty. Make a “chicken” sandwich, or slice it up and put it in a wrap or salad.
Best for: a super-quick and easy-as-pie meal! Just watch out—these patties are kind of addicting. 🙂
6. Lightlife Smart Dogs
The crazy, crazy thing about vegan hot dogs is that their makers have somehow captured that hot-doggy taste but left out the pig buttholes, bones, bugs, and cruelty. YUMMERZ! Seriously though, bust out a pack or two of these on a camping trip and roast ’em over the fire!
Best for: barbecues and campfires or for making chili “cheese” dogs or Vegan Pigs in a Blanket.
7. Soy Curls
These are kind of the unicorns of vegan meats. They’re not easy to find, so you might doubt that they exist, but once you do taste their magic, they’ll be your favorite forever. Save yourself the heartache and just order them online. You’re welcome.
Best for: when you have a little extra time to cook, as you have to rehydrate them. You can try them in burritos and stir-fries if you’re a total square, but we recommend getting experimental.
8. Trader Joe’s Meatless Meatballs
Dude, ain’t nothin’ better than a plate full of classic spaghetti and meatballs, vegan-style.
Best used for: spaghetti and tomato sauce, meatball subs, or any other meatball-y things.
9. Jackfruit Pulled ‘Pork’
Please get off your butt and make this—then be blown away that you’re eating freaking FRUIT as a meat substitute. WTF is going on? And how is it so good?
Best for: the feelings of shock you’ll experience after realizing that jackfruit can taste like pulled pork, impressing the f*ck out of people at a dinner party.
10. Upton’s Naturals Traditional Seitan
ALL HAIL SEITAN! Also known by its less-inspiring moniker “wheat gluten,” seitan is a miracle for vegan meat-lovers everywhere. It’s super-filling, yummy, and made of, like, pure protein. Think of it as tofu’s sassy BFF!
11. Gardein Seven Grain Crispy Tenders
My happy place: sitting down with a huge plate full of these crispy tenders and a bottle of Sriracha and Netflixing the night away. Is that sad? I think if you try these, you’ll understand.
Best for: late-night munchies or daylight munchies. OR ANY MUNCHIES.
12. Field Roast Sausages
Thank you, vegan gods, for blessing us with this vegan sausage so we never have to think about eating this again.
Best for: sticking in a bun, chopping up for pastas or casseroles, or frying up alongside your pancakes at brunch.
13. Tofurky Vegetarian Roast
You know why I like Thanksgiving more than Christmas morning? This.
Best for: stuffing your face on Thanksgiving (duh) or stuffing your face on other autumn/winter holidays of your choice. NOTE: This roast is a classic, but Tofurky also has a TON of other great products, like vegan deli slices, sausages, and more!
14. Chipotle Sofritas
Chipotle has always been a sacred place for me and many other vegans. And now that the restaurant chain has added these mega-flavorful, protein-packed tofu wraps to its regular menu? Well, eating at Chipotle is nothing short of spiritual.
Best for: anytime you ever find yourself within driving distance of a Chipotle restaurant (which is, for many of us, far too often).
Have YOU tried all these delish vegan meats? If not, well, ya better get to it—and make sure your friends do, too!
🙂 🙂 🙂