Mission: Help Save Crocodiles From Becoming Hermès Birkin Bags

Posted by Calvin on April 14, 2025

Are you turned off by the astronomical cost of a Hermès Birkin bag (we’re talking $80k)? 😵 Use our DIY Birkin guide to decide whether to ‘Dismember It Yourself’ at home!

What you’ll need:

• Ruler
• Pen
• Stitching awl
• Needles
• Screwdriver
• Knife
• Plastic Floor Covering
• A 3-year-old crocodile* (You’ll need 2-3 crocodiles to make a larger bag)
• The misguided belief that one species is more important than another

Follow these 10 easy steps:

1. Bend the nose of the crocodile down with one hand.
2. Using your free hand, take the knife and stab the base of the crocodile’s head.
3. Next, plunge the screwdriver into the crocodile’s brain and then—on an angle—into the spine.
4. Cut and peel the crocodile’s skin off of their body.
5. Carefully measure two rectangles and cut them out of the crocodile’s skin.
6. Glue the edges together
7. Saddle stitch once the glue is dry
8. Pull tight!
9. Don’t forget to wash off the blood…
10. Show off your crocodile skin bag!

Okay, we’re being sarcastic—you obvi shouldn’t kill and skin a crocodile—but that’s literally how Hermès Birkin bags are made. PETA investigators at a Hermès supplier found that crocodiles are crowded in concrete pits for years before workers violently kill them at just three years old. 😰 Countless companies make gorg bags from eco-friendly and vegan materials—there’s no reason to harm animals for accessories.

Earn peta2 Points

Everyone needs to know about the violence that goes into each Hermès Birkin bag: Enter our satirical “DIY Birkin” vid. It’ll make the bag an instant nope in people’s minds, and sharing it can earn you 15 peta2 points from our Rewards Program. 🤑 Here’s how to do it:

1. Text, DM, or e-mail our satirical “DIY Birkin” vid to a friend or share our post on social media and take a screenshot.

2. Submit your screenshot for 15 peta2 points. (Heads-up: You’ll only be awarded points for taking this action once.)

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