OK, flesh-free friends, time is of the essence! Want to save your friends and family from becoming mindless zombies? I’ll let you in on a little secret—most zombies can’t even tell the difference between vegan meat and real meat, so let’s fool them, shall we? I’ve got just the ticket:

Replace:

  • Cow flesh with vegan taco crumbles (available at grocery stores, or just buy veggie burger crumbles and add taco seasoning)
  • Pig flesh with vegan chorizo (available at grocery stores and health food stores)

Other ingredients:

  • Tortilla chips
  • Vegan cheese (I recommend Daiya brand, available at Whole Foods)
  • Salsa
  • Vegan sour cream (I like Tofutti Sour Supreme)
  • Lettuce, jalapenos, hot sauce, or your fave toppings

This one’s so easy that even the most bone-headed meat-eater couldn’t screw it up.

Just set the oven to 350, throw a handful of tortilla chips onto an oven-friendly tray (or aluminum foil), and pile it high with the vegan cheese and meats. Toss the tray in until the cheese melts (about 10–15 minutes), and then pull it out to top it all off with the cool ingredients.

*Grunting sounds get louder*

Oh crap, here they come. Everybody put on your crooked zombie smiles.

“Hey guys! Lunch is prepared—delicious animal flesh, just as we like it …”