You’ve probably seen more than a few news stories recently about “bizarre” food findings such as calamari pig anuses, not one but TWO KFC patrons who found what appeared to be brains (and turned out to be kidneys) in their meals, and now, the infamous horse meat scandal at an Irish meat processing plant.
While this is all pretty disturbing, we’re actually more concerned that more people aren’t just as outraged that people are eating ANY animal parts—because seriously, WTF is the difference?!
CALAMARI VS. PIG ANUSES
“Calamari” is one of those nice-sounding words that restaurants use to sell something not so nice—in this case, chopped-up baby squid. Let’s really think hard about this one. Pigs’ buttholes. Chopped-up babies. Pigs’ buttholes. Chopped-up babies.
What’s the difference? Nothing. They both come from once living, breathing animals who were hacked apart and killed for someone’s dinner, and if you think that one is more acceptable to eat than the other, your taste buds probably need an intervention. ASAP.
CHICKEN KIDNEYS VS. THE REST OF THE CHICKEN
The public outrage surrounding two separate incidents in which shocked patrons found “wrinkled brains” (kidneys) on their trays at KFC is truly baffling. Yes, finding chicken organs in your food is gross. Want to know what else is just as gross? Finding ANY chicken body parts in your food.
What’s the difference? Nothing. Finding a chicken kidney in your food should be no more disturbing than finding a chicken wing, leg, breast, or “finger.” Every single one of those parts comes from chickens who have their throats slit before being tossed into a tank of scalding-hot water—sometimes while they’re still alive. If you don’t want body parts in your food, the solution is simple: DON’T EAT BODY PARTS.
HORSE MEAT VS. MEAT FROM ANY OTHER ANIMAL
People around the world are freaking out about meat from an Irish meat processor that contained up to 75 percent horse flesh. As far as the outrage goes, we’re with you on this one. It’s totally unacceptable to kill horses and turn them into hamburger meat. Also unacceptable? Killing COWS—or any other animal, for that matter—and turning them into hamburger meat.
What’s the difference? Nothing. There’s no difference in the way that cows and horses are slaughtered for food. If you’re upset that horses are being forced onto transport trucks and hauled long distances in all weather extremes only to be hoisted by one leg and have their throats slit, you should be upset that the exact same thing happens to every cow who is killed for food, too.
The facts are indisputable, folks. If you’re not OK with eating pig anuses, chicken kidneys, or horse meat and you’re thinking now that maybe eating dead squid babies, chicken boobs, and hacked-apart cows isn’t such a great idea either, maybe you should just go vegan already.