10 Things We Keep Telling Our Dogs

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Posted September 27, 2013 by Nina Kahn

As you dog lovers out there already know, dogs are pretty much a bunch of furry little geniuses. Did you know that dogs can often pick up more than 200 spoken words all on their own, without being taught? It’s true! But every now and then, there are moments when we all wish doggies spoke our language, for realz. Here are 10 things we keep trying to tell our dogs:

1. This bath is full of soapy water—NOT flesh-dissolving acid, k? CHILL PILL.


2. That’s just the mail carrier. He’s not going to hurt you. Remember him from yesterday and the day before and the hundreds of days before that? Same ol’ dude, different day.

surprised dog

3. I know you want in on this, but this vegan feast is alllllll mine.

dog and food

4. I love you, but you are NOT gettin’ any chocolate! (If it weren’t a risk to your health, I’d have caved by now, OK?!)

cute dogs

5. Don’t you get that the vacuum is MY enemy, not yours? >.<


6. I loooove me some cuddles! But is there any chance we could try this with your butt facing, like, not my face? Maybe?

sleeping dog

7. Why, yes, I do see the puppy in the other car! Yep, there she is. Mmm-hmm, still see her. OK, seriously, I GET IT.


8. I know you think that every time I close the door to the bathroom, a portal to another dimension opens up and I am at risk of disappearing forever. That’d be cool, but I promise it’s not gonna happen.


9. Crazy—I was just thinking about how these shoes would look better chewed!

dog with shoes

10. I know you think walking around the block is exciting! So exciting, in fact, that it’s hard to believe that this is the same block we walk around ALL THE TIME.


Sadly, not all dogs are lucky enough to have an awesome human companion who will always try to listen to what they have to say. Every day, dogs are abused, neglected, left trapped in hot cars, and chained up and forgotten outside 24/7 without adequate shelter. You can be a hero for these dogs by pledging to be a dog defender and by clicking the button below:


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  • Profile photo of MusicIsLove

    768 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]


    100% true!

  • Profile photo of alexblue

    780 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]


    How about “You can eat it that way if you want to but a sandwich won’t stick to your nose”. :)

  • Profile photo of hakred

    789 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]


    Ha, yep!

  • Profile photo of LittleGirl

    792 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]


    Ah, I wish there was a blog like this for cats (maybe there is and I’ve missed it?)! I think I might make one on my blog because this is just so cute!

  • Profile photo of naturegirl

    793 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]


    I can’t believe how many of these apply to me and my dog! 😀

  • Profile photo of Mchll

    793 days ago

    VN:F [1.9.22_1171]


    When my dog finally let the mailman pet him without barking I was so proud!

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