Guys, there are a lot of ways to look good while helping animals, like rocking a faux-leather jacket or posing for a pic while volunteering at your local open-admission shelter. But here’s one crucial detail that you need to remember in your pursuit of handsomeness:
Nothing is uglier than using products that were tested on animals.
So, which type of cruelty-free clean are you?
1. The Clean Comedian
This is the guy who’s always quick with a dirty joke but never fails to show up to the party sparkling clean. His Facebook statuses are always on point with hilarity, but his compassion is no joke. “I don’t always use soap, but when I do, I make sure it’s cruelty-free.”
2. The Man of Simple Pleasures
He isn’t impressed by a cabinet full of hair gels and hand lotions, and he doesn’t care for your two-hour morning clean routine. His last haircut cost him $0 because he did it himself, with safety scissors. This guy’s ethics are as clean as he is.
For all purposes: Dr. Bronner’s
3. The Guy Who Won’t Leave the House Until His Beard Is Flawless
He has two goals in life: first, to win a beard competition for Most Compassionate Facial Hair, and second, to repeat this first goal. (It’s also not uncommon to see this guy sporting a luscious man-bun.)
4. The Straight-Edge Punk Whose Fashion Is Compassion:
The only alcohol in this guy’s house is mouthwash. He’s never embarrassed to throw his arms up and rock out at shows because his deodorant doesn’t quit, just like his ethics. As one of the many patches on his jacket says, “It’s cool to care.”
5. The Dad
He never minds getting soap for Father’s Day, and his favorite part of the morning paper is definitely the Bath & Body Works coupons. He’s always clean-shaven because he’s had years to practice. This is one dad who will never take you fishing, because he wrote the book on treating fish like friends, not food.
6. The Dog-Dad
He’s the cleanest guy at the dog park, and so is his human. This dog-dad puts his furry companion above all else and always keeps him clean and comfortable. He spends more on his dog’s grooming than his own.
Favorite brand: Every Man Jack
Brand for his companions: Dogtails (For every purchase of Dogtails Dog Shampoo, a soft blanket is dropped off at a local animal shelter for dogs in need of warmth and comfort.)
7. The Guy in Class You Love Sitting Next To
He always smells great—with just the right amount of cologne—and if we’re picking partners for a project, this is the guy you want because his toothpaste is fiercely fresh.
8. Classically Clean
His favorite dairy-free nice cream flavor: vanilla. Mild salsa on this guy’s Chipotle burrito, please. When he’s shopping for some new humane plain white tees, he heads straight for the basics section. Tried and true, this guy’s favorite tradition is being 100 percent cruelty-free.
9. The Guy Who Goes Broke for His Morning Routine
No extra guac for this gentleman, because he just dropped some serious cash on his new favorite volumizing shampoo and cruelty-free facial peel. You won’t have a problem finding this guy in a dark room, because he literally shines from being compassionately clean.
10. The Compassionate Athlete
Both on and off the field, this guy sports only the most ethical of scents and soaps. To him, the real victory is finding a sale on his favorite vegan protein bar. He hashtags all his gym pics with #PlantBuilt and #MeatFreeAthlete.
Shampoo and conditioner: Paul Mitchell Tea Tree products
Hair-styling product: Layrite Original Pomade
Deodorant: North Coast Organics Revolver All Natural Deodorant
Body lotion: Pré de Provence No. 63
Remember, guys, it’s cool to care. Go cruelty-free. ❤