When we ladies reach a certain age, our bodies send us a little message to let us know that we’re physically capable of having a child. And then they keep sending us reminders every single month for, like, 50 years, and we’re like, “OK, I GET IT,” but they’re like, “I’LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH”—and proceed to give us cramps and ruin some of our most expensive underwear for the next few decades … It’s a true miracle.
The funny part (not “haha” funny but “hmm” funny) is that the gift of being able to bring new life into the world can cause a lot of death if we’re not careful.
Some tampon brands–like Playtex and Tampax–test products on animals for cytotoxicity, skin sensitization and irritation, and acute systemic toxicity. These are pretty hideous tests, including vaginal irritation tests on rabbits. Uh … no, thanks. Try these cruelty-free and organic brands instead:
If you don’t want to mess with tampons, don’t worry—all these brands make cruelty-free pads, too:
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There are also these snazzy-looking washable reusable pads. It’s a shame that no one else will get to see just how stylish you are, but you’ll know.
And there are more options on Etsy. Just be sure to avoid the ones that contain silk, wool, or other animal-derived materials—because using products that may have caused extra bloodshed during our time of the month is the last thing we need.
If you don’t like tampons or pads, there are menstrual cups. They’re reusable and cruelty-free, so you can help save animals and the environment at the same time—it’s menstrual magic! Get yours now and let the good times flow. 😉
If you’re really picky when it comes to putting up with your period and you don’t like tampons, pads, or cups, think THINX.
These super-absorbent period panties just might be the answer to your period problems.
Pain Relief and Vitamins
If it feels like your cramps are trying to kill you, here are some ways to relieve your suffering that don’t make animals suffer:
Mixtures like this one are said to help relieve your most painful period symptoms when added to a warm bath.
So sink in and ignore your siblings as they pound on the door to tell you to get out of the bathroom—they don’t GET IT.
If you don’t have a bathtub, relief is just a spray away!
This all-natural spray is said to soothe achy muscles and joints as well as cramps.
This multivitamin is said to support breast health, the reproductive system, and bone strength—all good things. Score!
Periods make your body do all kinds of crazy stuff, so make sure you’re getting your daily dose of vitamins A, C, D, D3, and E, in addition to calcium, folate, magnesium, and zinc.
Who knew something so difficult to pronounce could be so good at easing your cramps?
Hygiene is really important, and that’s why the vagina is naturally self-cleaning. But if you want to help it stay fresh to death while keeping animals alive, try these:
It’s never been more convenient to cleanse the cruelty from your cabinet while cleansing your cooter. It’s a great time to be a menstruating vegan lady, friends.
You can nab these here.
Pick up a pack of these at your local Target.
These are available at major drug stores.
In keeping with the theme of lots of options, there are also sprays if you’re not into wipes.
Keep your beautiful face and your conscience clear with these cruelty-free acne treatments:
Blood, cramps, and acne … periods aren’t always that fun. But they do have a few redeeming qualities:
Consuming another species’ breast milk (e.g., milk chocolate) is a great way to cause extra bloating. OH, THE BLOATING! Do yourself and cows a favor by ditching dairy foods.
There are literally thousands of vegan wines to choose from.
And you can’t really go wrong when it comes to vegan wine.
Lastly, periods are a great excuse to throw on sweats and tell everyone to LEAVE YOU ALONE.
Except don’t, because your sweats have a very important message that people need to see.
The options for not harming animals while you’re on your period are endless, and with so many cruelty-free brands on shelves these days, you can focus your energy on the really difficult tasks—like not killing your friends and family despite your raging PMS.
Happy menstruating, y’all!